Southpark- Kyman? -WILL BE UPDATED WEEKLY-
by Jasmine-Kyman-Cartyle
Summary: My name is Eric Cartman and I am in hopeless love with my Jew...My name is Kyle Broflovski and I am in hopeless love with my fatass
1. awesome and totally not fat!

Hello you should all know me 'cause is super kewl and totally not fat!  
As you all know I have 3 "friends"... The Hippie, Poor kid, and Jew-rat  
So it all started waiting for the bus in January...

"So Stan what should I do for my 18th birthday!" Kyle said  
"Go fuck Stan you know he wants it" I snickered  
Stan and Kahl blushed... NO WAY! STAN AND KAHL NONONONONO!

I'm totally not gay for Kahl so dont assume nothing...  
"SHUT UP FATASS" the ginger, jersey, jew said...  
"MAKE ME JEW-RAT" I said  
"Hold it guys! We just got here!" the hippie said  
So I just stood there staring into open space until we finally got on the bus  
Stan and Kahl... I frowned at the thought  
"Cartman?" Said the jew when we were at school  
"Waht Kahl? Im busy here." I said  
"WHAT IM RIGHT HERE AND YOU ARENT DOING SHIT CARTMAN!" He threw his fist at me  
"Owwwww but Kahl" I said it in the drag way that got under his skin,  
That, Of course was weeks ago... It started it all.  
- Six weeks later-  
Kahl stared at me with his emerald eyes...  
"Yes Kahl?" I said sounding sweet.  
"Fatass.." His face was flushed with anger now.. "My name is not Kahl it is KYLE YOU FAT FUCK"  
"Christ who got sand in your vagina Kyeel?"  
"FATASS STOP EXAGGERATING MY NAME"  
"Then shut up you jew-rat!"  
"DONT BELITTLE MY PEOPLE YOU FAT FUCK!"  
"AY DON'T CALL ME FAT YOU FUCKIN JEW!"  
I slammed my fist in his stomach like usual... Kahl went for mah jaw.  
"You little ungratful peice of shit..." I said glaring at him "You have it all"  
"What?" He said all innocent like the sneaky jew he is  
A tear slid down my face as I slammed my locker shut and ran off into the forest outside of South Park High... Crying infront of Kahl? Bad choice ...  
Lemme get this straight. YOU SHALL RESPECT MAH GODDAMNED ATHORITAH! I will tell you mah biggest secret... I love Kahl. YES I KNOW he is a no good sneaky Jew from Jersey. But he is hot and I have the biggest crush on him. No I AM NOT acting like a fag...  
-`-`-`-`-`-`-`-`-`-`-`-`-`-`-`-`-`-`-`-`-`-`-`-`-``-`-`-``-`-`-`-`-`-`-``-`-`-`-`-`-`-`-`-`-`-`-`-`-`-`-`-`-`-`-`-`-`-`-`-`-


	2. Kahls POV

My name is Kyle Broflovski and I hate Eric Theodore Cartman.  
I dont know where he is or why and I sincerely don't give a shit...  
He left 2 months ago after saying I had it all... What the fuck? He ran off crying for the sake of moses. Ok now my phones ringing at 3 am what could he want now?  
"Kyle! Hurry to Cartmans I could here him shocked...  
"Why" I said to stan a little concerned  
"Its Cartman. He got what he deserved for ripping on you!" Stan was hysterical  
I grabbed my coat and ran hoping fatass was ok... WHAT I WANT HIM DEAD I HATE HIM WHY AM I SO WEIRD TODAY!  
"Hai Kahl" Cartman said  
I gaped in horror at the sight I was shown  
"W-wh-what happend?" I said with watery eyes  
"Craig, Clyde, and their gang happened..." Cartman was devistated that his friends were laughing...  
Cartman had cuts all over him and bruises and his clothes were slashed. He was bloody and had major scars...  
"Why. The. FUCK. DID THEY TOUCH YOU?" I scream shocking everyone  
"Well Kahl I just was out walking in the forest like I do during school hours and I saw Clyde kissing Craig... They beat the shit out of me with a katana and a chainsaw. Here I am" He said with a scratchy throught  
"Don't say the bullshit fatass tell him why they really beat the fuck out of you"  
"OK OK I heard them saying how I liked you and I was gay for you Kahl so I beat them down. Tehy at the hospital... Tweek had a chainsaw though and thats why I got these cuts... They were plotting to kill you for my misery what was I going to do... You are only Mah jew ME NO LIKE SHARING" Cartman said while Stan and Kenny laughed.

What? He likes me enough to save me? I sobbed and ran out...  
"Kyle!" Stan yelled  
I was so worried about the fatass I ran into a car...  
My name is Kyle and I am in love with Eric Theodore Cartman...


	3. Fatasses POV

My name is Eric Theodore Cartman and I just heard my jew scream...  
Everyone was at Tokens party now... Stan with Wendy and Kenny whoring himself so I grabbed my favorite jacket and ran toward his scream. I found his body bleeding with slight damage from the car which, Of course, left Kahl here..  
"Kahl, oh fuck wake up Kahl!"  
I ran him to the hospital.  
He woke up to my face  
"Fatass?" He said slightly confused  
"You're awake!" I screamed with delight... Until I remembered he was here.  
"Psht not like I care any!" I said slightly out of tone  
"Cartman? What happened to me. I cant move!" He sobbed with utter terror in his voice  
"Shhh Kahl its okay" I said quietly as He cried softly  
"It was Stan, ok? He fessed up at court.. He drove into you drunk... He hates himself."  
"Fatass?"  
"Yes?"  
"Could you, Maybe, hold me?  
"Of course Kahl" I said in a whisper as I comforted him  
"KYLE BUBBIE ARE YOU OKAY" Sheila said in her big jewish bitch voice. I had to go..  
"Bah Kahl..." I ran off while he was dozing in my arms  
Kahl squirmed and turned when I left but atleast he was okay  
I ran to Starks pond and didn't look back  
My name is Eric Cartman and I am in hopeless love with my Jew


	4. Kyle's POV

My name is Kyle Broflovski and I am in hopeless love with my fatass  
I just woke up from the fright of my life to find my savior... "Fatass?"  
"Your awake!" He screamed with delight but soon wiped the smirk off his face  
"Not like I care any" he said with an uneven voice  
"Cartman, What happened to me. I cant move!" I screamed in absolute terror  
"Shh Kahl its okay" He said in a whisper to stop my sobbing  
Wait, Fatass comforting me? I looked at him with question in my eyes hoping he could atleast explain who did this and why.  
"It was Stan, ok? He fessed up at court.. He drove into you drunk... He hates himself." He said tearing up. So I don't see the fatass for months and now he's injured and bothers to comfort me in a state of pain when he could be home eating Cheesy Poofs watching Terrance and Phillip like he did when we were kids.  
"Fatass?" I said quietly with a sharp pain in my head  
"Yes?" He said with question in his hazel eyes. How I love his e- Wait what?!  
Its like I said this before I thought "Could you, Maybe, hold me?" I waited for laughter or "Nya nya nya nya nya ha ha ha ha ha ha I gotcha" to fill my ears but all I heard was  
"Of course Kahl" We layed there for 10 minutes before the sound of my mothers voice filled the air  
"KYLE BUBBIE ARE YOU OKAY" I saw Eric- What? I never call Cartman Eric... but anyways he flinched with the sound of her voice and said "Bai Kahl" It looked as if he thought I was sleeping because he blushed and ran. I squirmed at the loss of his body heat but now atleast I didn't have to worry about my mom questioning him.  
"Kyle!" Ugh how I hated her voice  
"Mom!" Fake inthuseasms the charm :D  
"Are you ok! What did he do!"  
Who? "Huh?"  
"That boy Eric, Wasn't it his fault?"  
"Uggghhh No"  
"WHAT ARE YOU HIDING FROM YOUR MOM"  
"Nothing, Stop assuming he did every bad thing in the world!" I hated to admit it, but Cartman's right, My mom is infact a Super Kind Kameha Bitch.  
"But Kyle! He was running away!"  
"THATS BECAUSE HE THINKS YOUR A BITCH" I said with a dark look  
"He never did anything mom! Stop assuming he cant change!"  
"Bubbie he made you bet to suck his balls, why wouldn't I assume?"  
"HE SAVED MY LIFE" I blurted out and, by the shock on my families faces, I assumed I said it wrong.  
"How Kyle?" My little brother Ike said smirking  
"He found me unconcious in the street!"  
"WHATWHATWHAT!"  
"Yes mom, Eric Theodore Cartman, The fatass saved me"  
"WATCH YOUR MOUTH YOUNG MAN"  
"I am 18 years old, Im not a young man"  
My mom cried and left me there with a sharp pain in my side from the car  
"See ya Kyle!" Ike said laughing as he left with my dumbstruck dad  
That was the weirdest day since Cartman said I had it all. I pulled out my phone and called Cartmans house.  
"Cartman Residence" Liane said with her perfect mom voice. Its not often she's home  
"Umm, Liane is Fatass home?"  
"Oh, No my little poopsykins is out at Starks Pond with his gun, Why do you ask?" She told me about the gun like it was normal.  
"A GUN"  
"Yes, My perfect little boy plays target practice when he is upset, Would you like his cell number sweetie?" Liane said probably doped up  
"Yes Mrs. Cartman"  
"***-***-**** " She said and hung up so I could call  
after like, 4 rings he picked up  
"Cartman speaking"  
"Hey Fatass, Whyd ya leave"  
"Uh, Ummm, NUNYA BUISNESS NOSY JEW." He said with doubt  
"I doubt that fatass"  
"WELL UHM, I WILL TELL YOU AT SKEWL" He said sadly  
"Ok, School behind the gym end of fourth period"  
"Okay then!"  
"See ya Er- Cartman"  
"See ya Kahl" God I hated that accent


	5. Cartman's POV

Can't say it isn't normal but I am here shooting birds again.  
"Hey Fatass, Whyd ya leave" He said... CRAP HE HAS MY NUMBER. What do I say! Umm  
Ugh Uh I know!  
"Uh, Ummm, NUNYA BUISNESS NOSY JEW." I said with a hint of doubt in my voice  
"I doubt that fatass" Okay? and  
"WELL UHM, I WILL TELL YOU AT SKEWL" I said sadly noting he heard the doubt and I had to tell him at skewl  
"Ok, School behind the gym end of fourth period" Gyms my fourth period. Fuck no way out now  
"Okay then!" I said in a voice dripping with utter terror  
"See ya Er- Cartman" Eric? What the  
"See ya Kahl" God I love hearing his growl to my accent  
So now I am stuck waiting outside of the gym  
"Hey fatass" He said smirking  
"So why'd ya bail"  
"Ummmmmm Doctor?"  
"No you didnt Cartman I called ur home and Liane said you were out doing target practice!" Meh I got a distraction  
"So before I answer why'd ya call me Eric on accident?" Haha hes blushing got em now  
"Uh, Um, NAZI PEICE OF RACIST TRASH?" That sounded like a question to back him up hahaha!  
"Why, Kahl don't cover for yourself"  
"ANSWER MY QUESTION"  
"NO I am taking this secret YOU NEVER KNOW IT ITS MIEN"  
"Yeah fatass like ummm my secret is mine!" He blushing?  
"Umm Kahl? Can you take off your hat?"  
"Umm why?" Oh, he's reluctant  
"Because I wanna see your jew fro!  
"Umm, Okay?"  
He took it off and I love when he does because his eyes look Lime without the thing on  
"Kyle, Thanks"  
FUCK  
"Did you just say my name correctly" I see his dark blush  
"Umm no Kahl I didnt!" Ok that sounded fake  
"Yes! You did fatass!" He doent quit does he  
"THATS BECAUSE I..." I trail off not revealing why  
"I what fatass?"  
"I HATE YOU!"  
"Oh," His eyes pale, what did I say?  
"You hate me too, right Kahl?" SAY NO  
"Yeah, I guess" The enthuseasm just left him sad and lonely  
I put my hand on his shoulder  
"Sorry Kahl" He looks confused  
"Your sorry?"  
"Yes, Im ashamed to be sorry but yes..."  
He laughs so hard at my response  
"YOU... SORRY HAHAHAHAHA"  
I storm off with anger in my heels and I am never coming back EVER  
"Bah Kahl Im leaving this town for good!"  
That of course was 2 years ago when me and Kahl were 18


	6. Kyles POV

My name is Kyle Broflovski and he is gone  
I shouldnt have laughed so damn hard  
"Hey Stan" I sighed  
"Hey Kyle fatass is coming back"  
These words made me jump and my eyes spark  
"What!"  
"Yes, he is but he is different"  
"How?"  
"He... Is not a fatass"  
My heart stopped  
"Not fat or not a ass?"  
"Both, Its sad actually hes pretty fucked up and depressed since his anger managment when he killed a flight attendent"  
"He did WHAT?!"  
You see me and Stan live together, We both finished enough college to get our jobs so we are staying together.  
"Yep, He is fucked up but his ex wife said she left him cause he was trying to make a guy jealous who lived so so far away"  
Who?! I am killing him if he can take my Cartman away  
"Oh, Whens he back"  
"Today"  
I jumped up and screamed yes! so loud the whole town probably heard me  
"YESSSSS!"  
"What?! Why so damn exited!?"  
"No reason"  
"Okay by the way Kenny came back again"  
"He died! Again"  
"Oh my god they killed Kenny" He said in a sad voice  
"You bastards" I said depressed  
"So now that you came out of the closet who do you like, Kyle?"  
"No one" I said thinking of Cartman as I heard a bus  
"Look Cartmans bus Kyle!"  
"Sweet"  
So we ran to greet him


	7. Cartmans POV

My name is Eric Cartman and I am meeting up with my Jew-Rat for the first time in 2 years  
"Holy" Thats all Kahl said as he looked at me like I was a monster  
"You're tan and skinny fatass?" Stan said like he'd saw a ghost  
"So? Dont call me a fatass hippie!" It felt so good to be home  
"Hey Cartman, Im gay" Kahl said and I fell down into the snow from shock  
"What?" I must be so pale from that  
"Yep"  
"Who you going out with?"  
"No one"  
My eyes light up like I never lost my crush on Kahl  
"I missed you Kahl" is all I could say  
"I missed you to you damn nazi"  
We stood there and hugged eachother while Stan looked confused as hell  
"Cartman, Sorry for blowing up on you"  
"Jew sorry for belittling your people"  
"WHAT?"  
"Huh?"  
"You said sorry?"  
"Yes!"  
"Where's Liane Cartman"  
like that my smile vanished and tears ran down my cheeks  
"Do. Not. Speak. Of. Her" I got through choked sobs  
"Fatass?"  
"Hmm?" I said pushing back tears  
"I..." Kahl said reminding me of when I cut off at that word  
"I what?" I said sobbing  
"I missed you my fatass Nazi"  
"I missed you too jew-rat daywalker from jersey" with that we hugged and Stan puked like hell  
"I love you" I muttered under my breath hoping he didnt hear  
"Cartman?"  
"Yes Jew?"  
"Who saved me from ManBearPig since you were there?"  
"Umm No one Kahl"  
"Yes they said a kind boy saved me after I was dead for 10 minutes"  
"Me Kahl"  
"Why?"  
"The same reason I saved you from the smug storm"  
"YOU DID THAT?"  
"Yes Kahl"  
"Oh Christ!"  
"Hmm?"  
"Why though"  
"I cant live without a Jew to rip on"  
"Hey!"  
"Sorry, Could't help it!" I laughed  
"But what happened to Liane" He is pushing me  
"She overdosed you Idiot jew" Kahl looked shocked like he did during that car crash  
"I love you fatass" I froze as my heart felt like it has stop beating  
"Cartman! Oh shit" As I knew I was laying in the snow unconcious from that point on  
"He just went in shock young man, He wouldn't have made it if you didnt bring him  
"Oh, Thank god he is okay!"  
"Kahl?" Thats all I could manage to get by my lips  
"Your awake!" he said before smiling and adding "Not like I care"  
"Come here Jew"  
Thats when I did something way overdue and kissed him  
"Fatass?!"  
I let him go as he blushed and looked at me as a spark of light green returned to those pale eyes I left here 2 years ago  
"Yes?"  
"Why did you do that"  
"Testing theories"  
"Ok"  
With that Kahl left me alone because the nurses were coming with questions about my past and my family  
"Bye Eric" I gasped as I shivered and was confused of why he'd called me Eric  
My name Is Eric Cartman and I missed my Jew Rat


	8. Jew-Rats POV

**Sory I havent wrote since this morning guys, Hope your not too mad, Review and leave suggestions! 3 -Jasmine-Kyman-Cartyle**

"Fatass?!" I felt a rush of heat go up my face as I haven't seen him in 2 years  
"Yes" He simply replied  
"Why did you do that?" I wondered because that kiss was amazing  
"Testing theories" My heart dropped  
"Ok" I said quietly  
I left so I wouldn't be ushered out by nurses  
"Bye Eric" I saw him gasp and shiver by the sound of me saying that  
bzzzzzzzzzzzt  
Kyle Broflovski speaking  
"Hey Kyle"  
"Oh, Hey stan"  
"How was cartman?"  
"Fine just in shock"  
"What did you say"  
"Nothing"  
"U sure?"  
"Yes!"  
"Okay"  
"Wanna go out and watch Ike play hockey?"  
"Sure!"  
"I'll be over soon!"  
"See yah when you get here"  
I sighed and grabbed my coat, worried for the fatass... His hazel gold rimmed eyes and his fat ass and - WHAT IM NOT GAY! I LOVE HIM LIKE A BROTHER!  
"Hey Stan!"  
"Hey ready?"  
"Sure"  
"Where are we watching him"  
"16th hockey rink"  
"Oh"  
"Okay lets go"  
"Wanna see Cartman after Kyle?"  
"Sure" I sighed  
"Okay but seriously whats up?"  
"Nothing"  
"You like fatass?"  
"Yeah"  
"Hahahah!"  
"Shut up Stan"  
"Okay Kahl"  
"DONT MOCK HIM!" My face was red with anger  
"Okay okay sheesh"  
"How'd it happen though?"  
"What?"  
"Him going in shock"  
"Oh, I dont think he remembers but I said I loved him, Why?  
"No reason"  
So we finally got there  
Suddenly a memory came rushing back  
""So Stan what should I do for my 18th birthday!" Kyle said  
"Go fuck Stan you know he wants it" he snickered with a hint of jealousy"  
"Oh, "You little ungratful peice of shit..." he said glaring at me "You have it all" as he ran off crying into the woods"  
"OK OK I heard them saying how I liked you and I was gay for you Kahl so I beat them down."  
"They were plotting to kill you for my misery what was I going to do... You are only Mah jew"  
Oh, My  
"Your awake!" He screamed with delight"  
No way  
"Kyle, Thanks"  
"I missed you Kahl" His eyes were lightening"  
"I love you"he muttered under his breath"  
"Stan! I have to go now!"  
"The game just started!"  
So I waited and more memorys came back, more hints he gave me  
"Yes they said a kind boy saved me after I was dead for 10 minutes"  
"Me Kahl"  
"Why?"  
"The same reason I saved you from the smug storm"  
Not that he didn't have a Jew to rip on it was that he loved me  
"What?"he was be so pale from that  
"Yep"  
"Who you going out with?"  
"No one"  
His eyes light up"  
"Kyle!"  
"Hmmm?"  
"Lets go!"  
"Who won"  
"Ikes team"  
"k"  
So we drove to the hospital only to find something that made me cry  
"Sorry young man, We are on the verge of losing him, His heart is viciously low" The nurse said  
My heart dropped and I ran in to hear a loud Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep  
I ran up to him and pounded his chest  
"Fight Eric!"  
I slapped him hard and punched his chest  
"Its no good sir, he is gone..." The nurse said  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO"  
"DON'T DIE!"  
I slapped him  
"USE THE MACHINE GODDAMMIT!"  
I sounded like Cartman just then  
"One two three clear!" The nurse said  
He layed there pale as I pounded him with all my strength and he coughed!  
"He is alive!" The nurse squealed as I left the room telling them not to say I did it  
Bzzzt  
"Kyle Broflovski here"  
"Kahl!"  
"Cartman!"  
"I almost died!"  
"I know!"  
"Where are you?"  
"In the hospital waiting to come up"  
"Okay hurry!"

"Hi Fatass"  
"Sup Jew"  
"Nothing"  
"You did it"  
"What!"  
"I said, You saved me"  
"But, uh, No!"  
"Yes"  
"How'd you find out"  
He pulled a lock of my hair off of him  
"Dont pull your hair out next time I die, Kahl"  
I kissed him and he slowly kissed back  
"I missed you fatass"  
"But, Kahl How did you know I would kiss back?"  
"You said you loved me when you got off the bus"  
Oh, I think he meant for me not to hear that  
"You heard that?"  
"Yes I did Nazi!"  
I kissed him again, this time deepening the kiss  
"They said you told them to "USE THE MACHINE GODDAMMIT!" guess you heard me when I got you back from manbearpig slapping and pounding on you"  
"Yea, guess your rubbing off on me fatass"  
"Kahl, Will you go out with me?"  
My body froze up  
"Uh,um,ba,kwl,ia,fu,ye,"  
"Stop muttering sounds and answer me Kyle"  
"Kyle?"  
"Yes Kyle Broflovski"  
"Yes"  
"YES! NYA NYA NYA NYA NYA NYAH HA HA HA H HA HAH"  
"It was a trick?"  
"No I just proved Kinneh wrong!"  
"He said I'd say no?"  
"Yes!"  
"Ok?"  
"He said you'd hate me forever... Thats why I never asked..."  
"Oh, He sucks"  
"Love you Kahl"  
"Love you to Fatass"  
My name is Kyle Broflovski and I am going out with a nazi


	9. Nazi's POV

**Oh christ**

* * *

My name is Eric Cartman and I am as scared as shit  
"Kahl, Will you go out with me?"  
My body froze up as I said this to him  
"Uh,um,ba,kwl,ia,fu,ye," Okay those arent words  
"Stop muttering sounds and answer me Kyle" Okay I manage to say something now  
"Kyle?" He looks at me and I realize I had said "Kyle" instead of "Kyeel or Kahl"  
"Yes Kyle Broflovski" Okay I did it again  
"Yes" WHAT!  
"YES! NYA NYA NYA NYA NYA NYAH HA HA HA H HA HAH"  
"It was a trick?"  
"No I just proved Kinneh wrong!"  
"He said I'd say no?"  
"Yes!"  
"Ok?"  
"He said you'd hate me forever... Thats why I never asked..."  
"Oh, He sucks"  
"Love you Kahl"  
"Love you to Fatass" O.O and I am a fatass?  
"Kyeel im not fat!"  
"You're big boned?"  
"Yep"  
and then the amazing happens  
"Cartman?"  
"Yes Kahl?"  
"When we leave wanna... ya know?"  
Oh christ yes!  
"Sure"  
he went pale?  
"Kahl?"  
"Uhhhhhhhhhhg"  
He fell on me?!  
"KAHL WAKE UR SEXY FACE UP!"  
"Huh?"  
"I WILL"  
"Okay"  
"come here jew!"  
"Okay"  
You gotta be kidding me  
"Kahl?"  
"Okay"  
"KAHL!"  
"Okay"  
"Kyle Broflovski  
"O crap!"  
"Okay I have u back now"  
He stared to leaf through my hair with his fingers as I drew circles on his back  
"Kahl"  
"Yea?"  
"Nothin I just like your name"  
"Kay"  
My name is Eric Cartman and I am up for the ride of my life

* * *

Im adding any suggestions


	10. Daywalkers POV

"Fuck!"  
"Hold your Jewish panties on!"  
So here I am being handcuffed to a bed in fatasses basement  
"Okay Kahl"  
"Fucking now Cartman"  
"Unpatient much?"  
He took the blindfold off and I saw something I never wanted to see in my life. HIM as a NAZI with a WHIP in his hand over my STOMACH!  
"Oh God!"  
"Have you been a bad Jew?"  
"Yes... I have been very naughty"  
"I guess I have to punish you dont I"  
"Yes"  
"Beg for it"  
"Please! Please fuck me or whip me or something! Please I beg you to fuck me raw!"  
I cannot believe I just said that!  
"Okay I guess I must punish you but you must refer to me as Fatass"  
Fatass?!  
"Why!"  
"Because I have, indeed, a fat ass"  
"Oh, okay fatass!"  
Yes!  
Suddenly I feel a sharp pain on my stomach  
"Ow! Fuck fatass!"  
"Im getting there"  
He is just so damn sexy as a nazi... He looks perfect  
he whips me again and I moan with pleasure instead of pain this time  
"Harder! Please fatass!"  
He licks the blood off my stomach and lashes me again  
"FUCK! FATASS NOW!"  
He lashes one more time and sticks a gag in my mouth  
"Mmmmmph!"  
"What Kahl"  
"Mhhhmmpph"  
"Okay"  
He has no Idead what I just said does he...  
I buck outward to state my point but he has other Ideas as he begins sucking on my erection I moan loudly through the gag I can tell he is close to climaxing when we do after so little fun before anything could happen the room his sleepgased


	11. Fatass Nazi actually cares! Fatass' POV

My name is Eric Cartman and My jew is gone  
I woke up after a numbskull decided to gas my room  
"Kahhhhll?"  
"Mom!"  
"ANYONE?"  
Okay whos playing tricks on me! I almost go outside but remember im in my sexi nazi outfit  
I change as I walk out after there is 2 thing wrong (1) Shiela is crying (2) Kahls face is on a missing poster  
"Sheila where is Kahl!" I scream not keeping up my nice act  
"Wuh-Well Eric he went missing 4 days ago, are you okay er-Eric, you look awful sore." Butters said in his girly ass voice  
"I am upset Butters! WHERE IS MY JEW!" I scream despite everyone there  
"Fatass..."  
"Kenny?"  
"I saw Kyle"  
"WHERE"  
"On my way back from the liquior store"  
"WITH"  
"People dragging him away by chains"  
"The fuck! and you didnt try to get him!"  
"Nooo I figured he was up to some kinky shit!"  
"OK! THATS IT!" I ran into my room only to see a neatly folded note  
_**Kyle Broflovski is OUR Jew now fatass! -Clyde and Craig**_  
The fuck are they doing with my jew! I ran straight to the cave I spyed on them at and surely he was there with multiple cuts and bruises  
"...Brolovski...Fatass...Couple...Hah...Dead!...Suffer...He's next"  
those were the only words I heard before I jumped out of the bushes and beat them unconcious with the thought of them getting to Kahl  
"Kahl!"  
"Don't please! I'll do it! I will kill him please don't cut me anymore!"  
I looked down at the bloody mess before me and let my tears hit his skin at the thought of them hurting my jew  
"C-Cartman? You came to s-s-save me!"  
"I am so sorry Kahl"  
"Why?"  
"They got by me an got to you, look at yourself, im a failure!"  
"Eri-I mean Cartman shhh..."  
"Wheres my mom Kahl?"  
"I'm sorry..."  
"No! no no no no no no no! THEY ARE DEAD!" I pulled a knife and put it through their hearts before Kahl said not to  
"I am so sorry Kahl" With that I cryed and carried him to his mom  
"Bubbie!" I hated her voice  
"Er-ic take me to the sh-ow-er" he said trembling  
"Okay"  
"Eric!"  
"Yes Mrs. Broflovski?"  
"DROP HIM NOW I KNOW YOU DID THIS!"  
"Mo-m he d-i-dn't"  
"Yes he did! look at your arm!"  
"CCra-ig"  
"AND your hips"  
"Cly-de!"  
"And your thighs!"  
"Cra-ig and cly-de raped me"  
"WHATWHATWHAT!"  
"May I now take him to" I wiped off tears "shower?"  
"Yes Eric!"  
So I took him to the shower stripped him and put him in  
"Fatass?"  
"Hmmm jew?"  
"Get i-n with me pl-ease"  
"Okay jew"  
"Was-hh me?"  
"Okay"  
I gently rubbed soap on his thighs, stomach,hips,legs, and ass, and other areas if you know what I mean and rinced him then I rubbed my soapy fingers through his hair as he spoke  
"Thank you"  
"Oh so we can talk?"  
"Yes"  
"I love you Kahl, I feel so bad... I looked at you and all of your cuts and I felt like killing myself for what I did"  
"I am so glad you- Didn't"  
"Shhhh"  
I massaged his shoulders and he wasn't as tense  
"They raped me.." He said crying  
"I know I am so sorry" I said wiping his tears  
"How are you so nice all the sudden Cartman?"  
"I just care about you Kahl, Why did you call me by my first name earlier Kahl?"  
"I guess I just think we'd be on a first name-" I kissed him to get him to shut up  
"I love you fatass"  
"I love you too jew"  
and with that we kissed... Until Sheila barged in with me kissing Kahl and massaging his shoulders in a shower naked... awkward  
"Eric!"  
"Yes Mrs. Broflovski" I said acting normal  
"Why are you in the shower with Kyle!"  
"That feels so good Eric" Kyle said, obviously dazed  
"I am relieving his tension"  
"GET OUT!"  
"Kiss me Cartman..."  
"whatwhatwhat!"  
And I was kissing him  
"Kyle Broflovski get out of that shower and get dressed I WILL be up in a second!"  
"Help me dress Eric?"  
"Sure"  
I helped him in to a pair of star of david pjs as I was in my nazi ones I threw on before going out to find Kahl to make it look like I was asleep  
"Thank you"  
I kissed him and carried him to bed, fluffed his pillow, and layed him down  
"Night my little Jew"  
with that I was out the window

* * *

**Finally was able to continue my story! Review if you waqnt me to continue!**


	12. Sorry the chapter is so short XD

That was one fucked up weekend...  
"Crap, Kyle what happened to you?"  
"Nothing"  
"Its obvious something happened"  
"NOTHING STAN"  
"Hey hippie, jew"  
"Sup fatass"  
"Cartman"  
"Hey Jew do me a favor"  
"What"  
"Lemmeh copy your homework!"  
"No fatass do ur own!"  
"Christ who got sand in your vagina?"  
"I DO NOT HAVE SAND IN MY VAGINA"  
"So then... You do have a vagina?"  
"NO"  
"Okay , okay Kyeel jeez"  
"MY NAME... IS NOT... KYEEEEL"  
"Okay Kyle"  
Then I looked at him because he gave in  
"Kahl"  
"Yes?"  
"Buy me some cheesy poofs when we get to sckeeeeewwwwlll?"  
"Okay if you'll shutup"  
"I will!"

"Hey fatass"  
"Jewboy?"  
"Heres the goddamn cheesy poofs"  
"Oh," I saw his heart drop 6 miles"  
So that was my school day... It sucked really  
My name is Kyle Broflovski and I wish I never upset Cartman

* * *

Major Plot twist in the ending chapter... Sorry it was so short


	13. Plot twist!

My name is Eric Cartman and I am reciting a song by memory to myself to practice for Kahl  
"I swear by the moon and the stars in the sky, I'll be there Kahl, I swear like the shadow thats by your side, Kahl I swear to god I'll be there! For better or worse, better or worse, till death do us part, death do us part. I'll love you with every gay beat of mah heart, I swear Kahl..."  
"Fatass?"  
"Kenneh?"  
"You parodied a song for Kyle so cute!"  
"GET UR POOR ASS OUT OF MY RECORDING STUDIO"  
"Nah, I'd rather not"  
"Why?"  
"Kyle is going to drink tonight with Nichole, Token, Stan, Wendy, and most dangerously ME"  
"You are not FUCKING WITH mah JEW!"  
"I beg to differ Fatass he is naked in your room you rented out to me"  
"FUCKING POOR PEICE OF SHIT GET OUT OF MY FACE" Like that I was running full speed to Kennys room"  
"Mpppppphhhh!"  
"Kahl!"  
"Mph!"  
"What" I took his gag out  
"Help!"  
"Whered he put the keys!"  
"Table"  
I unchained him and carried him to bed as he fell asleep  
I sat there for hours just petting him and holding him in his sleep I got some alchohol and started clensing his cuts again from Clyde and Craig... Is that a new gash? I stitched his gash and, as he doesn't know, I am studing at college to be a doctor.  
"Cartman?"  
"Yes"  
"I love you"  
"Love you too mah jew"  
"And we lived happily ever after.. THE END!"  
"Shut up fatass! IM NOT GAY!"  
"Are toooo"  
"AM NOT!"  
"Sweeett we raped Kyle!"  
"Yep!"  
"NO THEY DIDN'T FATASS!"  
"Now, now Kyle let Eric finish his book"  
"Two weeks later Kahl died from Aids!"  
"The hell fatass?!"  
"Nothing jew you got buttfucked by Craig, Clyde, Me, and Kenny!"  
"Yuck!"  
"As you'd ever be a doctor! Or dating me!"  
"In THAT universe I just made up we are!"  
"Oh, okay THAT makes sense!"  
"Bah Kahl!"  
"Bye Fatass and By the way you are not tan and skinny!"  
"I AM THERE JEW-RAT!"

* * *

I might make a sequel. Review for more


	14. And so it begins for reals Cartmans POV

"Fatass I always knew you were gay"  
"Nu uh!"  
"Yep"  
"Kahls Gay!"  
"You wrote him gay for you"  
"So"  
"That makes YOU gay"  
"Nope"  
"Yes, AND you admitted to saving him from ManBearPig and the Smug Storm!"  
"Oh, fuck..."  
"Yep"  
"KAHL, are you crying?"  
"STUPID STORY FATASS GOT ME BEAT UP"  
"For?"  
"Ratting Clyde out for saying he'd rape me!"  
"Oh, Kahl im sorry"  
"STOP ACTING FATASS!"  
"I-I"  
"I what fatass!"  
"I really am SORRY!"  
"Really"  
"YES STUPID JEW!"  
"NAZI FAT RACIST PIG"  
"IDIOT!"  
"FATASS!"  
"JEW"  
"RETARD"  
"DAYWALKER"  
"UR MOMS A SLUT"  
"YOUR MOMS A BITCH"  
"DONT CALL MY MOM A BITCH, FATASS!"  
"IM NOT FAT YOU FUCKIN JEW!"  
"DON'T BELITTLE MY PEOPLE YOU FAT FUCK"  
"WHO GOT SAND IN YOUR VAGINA!"  
"I DO NOT HAVE SAND IN MY VAGINA!"  
"But... You do have a vagina?" I laughed and slammed my locker not waiting for his response  
"Dude... You just got the principal called down here"  
"So what I do what I want, bitch!"  
"Okay whatever you say fatass"  
"ERIC CARTMAN TO THE PRINCIPALS OFFICE NOW!"  
"Fuck."  
"Haha fatass!"  
"Kyle Broflovski accompiny Eric Cartman and get down here now, m'kay?"  
"FUCKIN FATASS GETTIN ME IN TROUBLE!"  
So we walked and argued to the office like the good old days  
"You boys are never going to be friends are you? Mr. Mackey said  
"Nope."  
"Nu uh"  
"Well cursing in school is bad m'kay I though we'd been over this" Mr. Mackey Said  
"So? I am not talking to that daywalkin jew from jersey!"  
"I am not talking to this overweight nazi pig!"  
"M'kay well Eric here is going to a Authots meet m'kay"  
"WHAT!"  
"Yes Kahl my book won a award."  
"Eric stop being a smart mouth m'kay"  
"Yes Mr. Mackey"  
"As you know Kyle since you were in the book as a main charactor you have to go M'kay. Eric, Kenny, Craig, Clyde, Token, Nichole, Wendy, Stan, and side charactors are doing a reinactment later in the week m'kay?"  
"I am NOT reinacting that fatso's story Mr. Mackey!"  
"Fine but we still are publishing it m'kay"  
"Yes Mr. Mackey"  
One Week Later  
"Autographs here! Get your autographs!"  
"Nngh! To Tweek! so much Nngh! pressure!"  
"Here tweek"  
"Wuh Well Eric make it our to Buh Butters"  
"Thanks Butters thats 20 dollars"  
"Okay, well shucks Eric my dad will be awful sore about me spending 20 dollars"  
"NEXT"  
"To Kyle"  
"Okay To K-a-h-l"  
"Hurry up fatass!"  
"Okay Jewboy"  
After a long day of autographing I headed home only to find a certain Jew  
"Hi Kahl"  
"Fatass"  
"Yes?"  
"What is THIS"  
He pointed on my autograph where I wrote meet me at 7 at my house  
"Oh, umm I wanted to do something to see if it will work"  
"What!"  
I kissed him and he went limp, kissing back surprisingly  
"Fatass what was that?  
"A kiss Kahl"  
"Why?"  
"Because I insisted we get rid of our stress"  
"stress?"  
"Yes Kahl like with me and Wendy"  
"I... never had feelings for you Cartman"  
"Oh really" I pulled out his Diary and flipped to a page with 17 pictures of me and hearts  
"Umm wow that... its... how'd that get in there?"  
I pointed to his name on the back of a picture  
"Thats not... It can't... I hate..."  
Got him!  
"Na na na na na nah Ha ha ha ha ha hah! You like me!"  
"Is it true?"  
"what?"  
"You saved my life 2 times"  
"Yes"  
"Why"  
"Butters isn't a Jew and he takes my crap, unlike you"  
"So you need me to rip on?"  
"Yes!"  
"Okay"  
Over summer break I lost alot of weight over my mothers death and was working out much more often. I showered more and I made my hair decent. Kahl was in Conneticut with his cousin Kyle. Stan got engaged with Wendy and Craig and Tweek were married. I was alone until my jew came back for me to rip on.  
"Welcome back Kahl"  
"You aren't fat?"  
"You cut your jewfro?" His red curls lay on his head and were shorter now  
"Yep fatass you sound surprised!"  
"Yeah"  
"Wanna hang out on sunday"  
"Sure fatass!"  
So we watched a movie and hung out for the day and when we got to my house we played Xbox forever until finally this came up,  
"Fatass, who are you dating?"  
Ummmmmmmmm what should I say?  
"I am not exclusive with mah hoes"  
Okay that worked!  
"Oh, Okay I am dating my left hand"  
The fuck?  
"... The fuck jew?"  
"I am SINGLE"  
"Oh,"  
Thats how my week ended and I was suddenly on the football team with the "Hottest bod" in the school. Every girl wanted me exept Wendy and Bebe since they are going out with people already and I denyed everyone because, like in my story, I only wanted Kahl to myself and I don't share mah jew.

* * *

Wasn't going to continue but I just figured one fan would want more XD here it is all you Kyman fans. They aren't hooked up yet though they might end up together... haven't decided -Jasmine-Kyman-Cartyle


	15. Mah plan begins Cartmans POV

**Shoutout to Peaceouttalove: If it wasn;t for you Cartmans plan woulda never happened and I wouldn't continue**

** Thanks followers and favs by the way I appreciate it! Review if you want me to continue! -Jasmine-Kyman-Cartyle**

* * *

I was up all night thinking of Kahl again... I am going to start a money scheme today and Kahl WILL work with me!  
"Sup jew"  
"Fatass?"  
"yep"  
"Well what?"  
"Wanna work for me?"  
"For?"  
"three words"  
"WHAT"  
"Prostitutes. Gone. Wild"  
"NO WAY FATASS"  
"But Kaahhhlll we will make 10000000 dollaarsss!"  
"No way"  
"Yes way kahhhll!"  
"What do I have to do?"  
"All we do is kiss at gay bars and people will pay for us to do kinky shit"  
"Okay, don't sound too bad but I will need money to buy mouthwash Fatass"  
"Heres 15 bucks"  
"Kay"  
After my short explaination of what we were doing me and Kahl headed to Sexie Mens Outline and got started  
"Kahl kiss me"  
"NO WAY FAT-" I kissed him and suddenly many men were paying and shouting more  
"Kahl.. Take off ur shirt" I whispered  
"No way fattie you"  
"Nope" I ripped his shirt off and the crowd cheered. Damn Kahl has a sexy body  
"Okay Kahl now" and we deepened out kiss for the crowd and I accidentaly moaned and hoped Kahl didn't hear it. I took off my shirt and I saw Kahl blush and he was leafing his fingers through my hair... He is actually enjoying this?  
"More... Fatass?"  
"Yes" and with that he slid off his jeans to where he was only in boxers as many gross old men were cheering loud as fuck over the gay ass music.  
I slid off my jeans and it was like my dream come true because me and Kahl were almost naked kissing under money rain... Fantasies come to life I tell you  
"Cartman" He moaned and I started to draw circles on his back as he gasped  
"Kahl, thats enough for tonight, Okay?"  
"Yeah Cartman" He didn't say fatass or Nazi?  
We slid out clothes back on and divided the money we came up with 6,989 bucks for that little scene. I think we are the top show next saturday.  
"Fatass, you're a good kisser by the way" Okay Kahl thinks IM a good kisser?  
"Thanks, you're not too bad yourself"  
"We doing this again next Saturday, right?"  
"Yeah unless somethin comes up"  
"Great see ya"  
I showered and thought of Kahl kissing me and got no sleep  
"Fatass, tired much?"  
"Yeah" I yawned "Couldn't sleep"  
"Oh"  
In all reality we are 18 despite my book which said we were 20  
"Kahl meet me after class please"  
"Okay fatass"  
"You just agreed to CARTMAN?" Stan and Kenny said in unison and laughed  
"Yep, why?"  
"Not normal" Stan said  
"Oh, K see you after class fatass"

"Nice to see you fatso"  
"Same here jew-face"  
I kissed him and I guess that threw him off guard  
"Huh?"  
"Kahl, we have to keep up the act in school so some dunce from a gay bar doesn't think its fake"  
"Oh, I guess I could live with that"  
He kissed me and messed up my hair and I took his hat and pocketed it  
"You wont be needing this"  
"Why?"  
"You look sexy without it" I said and winked leaving him there with his jaw hanging open, blushing as I went to class without my hat on and with my favorite red and black shirt on  
"Cartman! You look different" Bebe said  
"Oh, Nah I am just bein sexy for mah lover"  
"Who!"  
"Kahl"  
"WHAT!"  
"Yep"  
"But, Kyle, you hate him!"  
"Nope I love me some Kahl meat"  
"whatever fatass" Kahl said walking up  
"Oh Hai Kahl babe" I said kissing him, attracting stares from multiple people  
"Cartman" He smiled and blushed  
I messed up his hair and said  
"You're still mah little monster jew"  
"You're mah Fatass Nazi"  
"Come sit on mah lap Kahl"  
"Okay Cartman"  
"Okay, THIS is not normal Kyle!" Stan said gaping  
Kyle kissed me on the cheek and said  
"Mah relationship is very normal thank you very much Stan"  
I kissed Kahl and swirved him so he was on my lap face to face with me as I messed up his jewfro and he had one hand on my back the other in my hair  
"A nazi and a jew?" Thats what everyone was saying all lunch period  
"Love you Kahl" I said blushing, knowing I was being truthful  
"Love you too fatass" Kahl said smirking as he pulled me in and we made out on the lunch table no one was at

* * *

So is this a scam for money or will they end up together 3 Kyman 4 Life is what I think but I am going to make it interestin


	16. Fuckin Craig and fuckin Clyde :

I realy loved this part of the story. Thank you for following and favoriting :D this is my first kyman story I liked besides, I was shot down,

another one I made :D thanks for the continued support Peaceouttalove -Jasmine-Kyman-Cartyle

* * *

My whole life is based around Kahl now that we are fakely together. I wish it could be real but Kahl doesn't feel that way. I was thinking about just telling Kahl mah feelings and I dont know if I can tell him without being heartbroken if he was to deny me. Kahl is my one true love and to show him that without letting him know who sent it I am calling off the scheme tonight.  
"Kyle Broflovski here" I heard a slant of sadness in his voice  
"Its Cartman Kahl, Im calling off the scheme"  
"Why?" I heard a tint of despair  
"Kahl where are you!"  
"At ho-me" he said through sobs  
"I am on my way!"  
I ran over to his house to see why he was so goddamn upset and I heard screams  
"NO! YOU CANT KILL HIM! I REFUSE TO LET YOU KILL CARTMAN!"  
"Fine then we could use you!"  
"O-okay if fatass is safe!"  
Thats all it took for me to, despite his moms car being there, I jumped on the tree and slung through his window. All I saw was Kahl laying unconcious and Clyde and Craig  
"Son of a bitch!"  
"Shut up or you die in his place!"  
"N-no Eric p-p-lease don't"  
"Kyle!"  
I knocked the boys out with my badass muscle and crouched down by Kahls side  
"Shh, Kyle I am going to make it better"  
"H-how?"  
I kissed him gently and took his shirt off to uncover his stab wound. So close to the heart I began crying  
"Kahl, don't die please I I love y-y-you"  
Kahl layed there losing blood as I bandaged him enough with my shirt as I cryed and carryed him downstairs and explained to Sheila what they'd done  
"Eric honey stop crying and take Kyle to your house... I know he will be in good hands." Did I hear that correctly?"  
I carried Kahl and layed his sleeping body in my bed as I got out a med kit and stiched him up as good as I could. I wiped his face and took my old pajamas with stars of david out and dressed him... Okay those were his I stole months ago... I layed him down and layed next to him until morning where I found him waking me up  
"Cartman?"  
"Yes K-k-kahl?"  
"Are these mine?"  
"Yes Kahl... I stole them"  
He kissed me hungrily and rubbed his hands through my hair. I got my dream finally.  
"Cartman... I love you"  
"Why Kahl"  
"I love your accent, your body, your kind personality which of course doesn't show unless the wall you have built around yourself comes down, Your eyes, Your hair, Your self-esteem, Your thoughtfullness, Your way of caring when someone is hurt, Your smartness, and finally the ability to be there whenever I need you" I wiped tears from my eyes as he said this "but, do you love me?"  
"Oh, Kahl I love your hair, your body, your smile, your kindness, your ability to see through me, your thoughtfullness, your kickass eyes" He laughed at this "your ability to care for a giant asshole, your way of pointing out flaws, how you care, how your always there when I need you, your bag of jew gold in your closet under your socks in the picture book of you and Stan, and how you seem to think I am kickass"  
"How did you know about that gold fatass?"  
"Lets just say I sneak in your room on a daily basis"  
We laughed at this and I kissed Kahl and looked at his wound  
"You're a pussy if they can get to you this easy Kahl"  
"Oh, says the guy who schemes me into being a pedophiles porn"  
"WELL atleast we are rich"  
"Right, true"  
"You know... We could go out"  
"Suuuurreee fatass"  
"But Kahl I need to go out with you so I can take you out to places and take you to prom to make up for giving you aiiiiddsss!"  
"Awwe fatass okay"  
"Yes!"  
"I love you Cartman"  
"I love you too Kahl, who INFACT clensed the sand from his vagina yesterday"  
We laughed and smiled and talked about our lives and Kahls bitch Mom  
and that was the best day of my life.  
-Eric Theodore Cartman

* * *

Sorry if fatass was too sappy but he has feelings for kyle Review if you enjoyed so far cause this is way off the end!


End file.
